7 Costly Divorce Myths You Shouldn’t Buy Into

Ending a marriage can be a difficult decision to make. However, when people have come to terms with this choice and have decided that divorce is necessary, understanding the facts about divorce will be essential to:

Knowing what to expect from the process

Unfortunately, however, there are a lot of misconceptions out there about divorce, and buying into these divorce myths could end up costing you a lot more money, time and stress in the long run. To shed some light on this topic, this blog series will focus on dispelling some of the most common and costly divorce myths.

While this discussion regarding divorce myths and facts points out some insightful info, contact a trusted Littleton divorce lawyer at Bahr & Kreidle when you need the best representation in a Colorado divorce.

Have You Heard Any of these Common & Costly Divorce Myths?

Myth 1 – I signed a prenup, so I won’t get anything in the divorce.  

Fact – This is just plain wrong! While prenups can prevent divorcing parties from having claim to certain assets – such as business assets, family heirlooms and/or real property, it’s crucial for those who have signed prenups and are headed for divorce to understand that:

• Not all prenups are valid, and it may be in their best interests to challenge the legitimacy of a prenuptial agreement.
• Even if prenups are valid, they cannot dictate the terms of things like child support and/or child custody; in the event they do, the court can throw out these provisions.
• Having the representation of an experienced attorney in divorce cases that involve prenups can be essential to ensuring that final divorce decrees or settlements are equitable.

Myth 2 – Spousal support is always granted in divorce.

Fact – This is, again, plain wrong. Spousal support (or alimony) is not a given in divorce cases, and simply requesting it doesn’t mean you’ll get it. In fact, when disputes arise over spousal support awards and the courts are called in to resolve the matter, they will typically use a specific formula to determine:

• Whether the requesting party is eligible for spousal maintenance
• How much spousal maintenance should be (if the requester is eligible)
• How long these payments should continue.

So, if a lower earning spouse has income from other sources (such as from a new partner, benefits, etc.), this could impact his or her eligibility for spousal maintenance.

Myth 3 – My spouse cheated, so I’m going to get everything I want out of the divorce.

Fact – Wrong! This is the kind of thinking that can get people into real trouble because it may lead them to try to move forward with divorce without the help of an experienced lawyer. The fact is that Colorado is a no-fault divorce state. This means that infidelity and/or other misconduct during a marriage will not be a factor used by the courts when resolving divorce cases.

Instead, when the courts are needed to resolve property division disputes in divorce cases, they will focus on the following factors (rather than infidelity in the marriage):

• What constitutes the marital versus separate property
• The contributions each partner made to the marriage
• What would be “equitable” in terms of the division of property.

Myth 4 – Children can choose who they want to have primary custody.

Fact – Wrong again! When divorcing parents are able to agree on a custody division, the court will typically uphold these agreements. However, when custody is in dispute, the involved children’s wishes will be only one factor that the courts may consider – as long as, of course, the children are mature enough to express their wishes to the court.

Other factors the court typically considers when making custody rulings include (but are not limited to):

• The parents’ wishes
• The proximity of the parents to each other
• The location where the child has established connections with a community (e.g. through going to school, etc.)
• The mental and physical health of each parent
• Whether either parent has a history of domestic violence, abuse or anything that could potentially harm the child.

Myth 5 – If custody is split between parents, there won’t be any child support obligations.

Fact – False! The courts generally see both parents as having a responsibility to financially support their children, and a 50-50 split of custody does not necessarily mean that either party is off of the hook for paying child support.

So, if you think you’ll be minimizing your support payment obligations by agreeing to joint custody, think again – you may still be ordered to pay child support to your ex.

Myth 6 – Trying to compromise with an ex during divorce is pointless.

Fact – This, again, is false. Of course, compromising with an ex is not always a good idea, particularly when it comes to cases that involve domestic violence or exes who want to use the divorce courts to exact revenge.

However, when it’s possible to find some common ground and communicate civilly with an ex, being open to compromise can:

• Inspire your ex to do the same
• Help resolve some of the major issues of your divorce without court intervention, which can lead to faster resolutions – as well as resolutions that are more favorable (as you will have had a hand in developing them, rather than being at the receiving end of a court order)
• Reduce the overall costs of divorce, as there will be fewer (if any) disputes to resolve in court.

Myth 7 – My ex and I split on good terms, so I don’t need a lawyer to help me with my divorce.

Fact – Of all of the divorce myths we’ve debunked so far in this blog series, this is the single most costly and potentially ruinous one people can believe. The bottom line is that, regardless of how amiable a split with an ex may be:

• You need to know that any compromises/agreements you make will be in your best interests down the line.
• Divorce can quickly turn ugly, especially as money, children/custody and other sensitive matters become the focus of the process.
• Having an experienced attorney representing you through divorce can help you be prepared for any challenges or complications that may arise.

Littleton Divorce Lawyer at Bahr & Kreidle

Are you ready to move forward with a divorce? If so, it’s time to contact an experienced Littleton divorce lawyer at Bahr & Kreidle.

To find out more about how we can help you, let’s meet for a free, no obligations initial consultation. You can set up this meeting by calling us at (303) 794-7422 or emailing us using the form on this page.