The Do’s & Don’ts of Divorce: What You Need to Know

Divorce is often a stressful, draining and difficult process, as the dissolution of a marriage can bring up a number of sensitive issues, particularly when it comes to finances and children. What this ultimately means is that, even when divorce proceedings start off amicably, they may quickly turn ugly, especially if either side starts making allegations about another person’s character and/or conduct during the marriage.

In this blog, we will highlight some important things to keep in mind when initiating and moving through the divorce process. While the discussion herein can help you avoid certain actions that may complicate the process, it’s also important to point out that hiring a Littleton divorce attorney at Bahr and Kreidle will be critical to ensuring that your rights are protected and that the divorce process goes as smoothly as possible.

What NOT to Do During a Divorce

As you work through the process of dissolving your marriage, do your best to NOT:

• Lose your temper – Divorce can get frustrating, especially if the process seems to be taking a long time because you and your former partner are disputing various aspects of the divorce (like, for instance, custody matters, the division of assets or how the marital debt should be divided).Although it can be difficult to hold it together, do whatever it takes to remain as calm as possible. Losing your temper will not get you anywhere – and it could, in fact, end up hurting you and your case (as your ex could try to use it as “evidence” that you do this all the time and, therefore, you shouldn’t get custody, for example).
• Move out of state or start planning to do so – If you do want to make such a move, wait until your divorce has been finalized. These types of moves can only serve to needlessly complicate a divorce case, and they may even impact your child custody case.
• Violate court orders – If, while the divorce is pending, a family court judge issues any type of court order (like, for example, a visitation order, a custody order or even a restraining/protection order), make sure you fully abide by the terms of any and all court orders that have been issued. While violating court orders can result in your losing some of your rights or, in the most serious cases, being sent to jail, it could also have negative impacts for you in terms of how a judge rules on important issues of your divorce and related matters.
• Give away or sell marital property – During some divorces, people may want to immediately sell off or give away some of the marital property as a way to either get over the marriage or get back at their exes.It’s crucial, however, that people resist this urge, as getting rid of marital property before the court has officially determined how this property should be divided or handled could create some significant problems down the line. Instead, it’s best to be as compliant with the courts as possible and to leave it up to your attorney to fight for your interests in the property and the divorce.

The Do’s of Divorce

Some of the things that you can do to facilitate a divorce case and help it reach a successful resolution in an efficient manner include to:

• Be willing to compromise and keep an open mind – The events or issues that may have sparked a divorce can be a particular source of resentment or bitterness; however, fueling your divorce with these feelings can only serve to make the case that much more contentious and expensive, which can ultimately end up backfiring in the long run. Therefore, even if you are still very upset with your ex, try to keep an open mind (as best as you can) in terms of what or how you are willing to compromise in order to resolve the divorce as quickly and favorably as possible. While you don’t have to be willing to compromise on everything, being open to the possibility of compromise with some issues can go a long way to resolving the divorce.

• Put your children’s best interests ahead of your own desires – This is a particularly important point when it comes to matters of visitation and/or child custody agreements. While you may want to try to stick it to your ex in a divorce case by fighting to limit or minimize his or her custody rights, it’s extremely important that you consider whether or not your wishes are truly in the best interests of your children. Try to put your own bitterness aside and work out agreements that will truly benefit your children in the long run.
• Try to cooperate with your ex outside of court (if and when possible) – In some cases, divorcing partners will have to work with each other outside of court to, for instance, exchange the children, divide or deal with certain assets, etc. If you find yourself having to work with your ex outside of court for any reason, do your best to cooperate. How you deal with your ex in these issues can go a long way in the eyes of the court and may serve to further promote your wishes or interests when it comes time for a judge to make an official ruling in the case.

More Divorce “Do’s”

Additional things to try to do as you prepare for and proceed through a divorce include to:

• Be honest when it comes to disclosing the marital property – Informing the courts of all of the marital assets is a critical step in the divorce process. While it may be tempting to try to hide some of these assets (to try to, for example, avoid having to split them with an ex), this is illegal and could have very negative repercussions in the future.In fact, if the court finds out that you’ve failed to disclose certain marital assets during a divorce, a previous decree can be thrown out, you can lose credibility with the court and you could even be charged with perjury (depending on the specifics of the case).
• Abide by all court orders – During some divorce cases, court orders regarding temporary spousal or child support, temporary custody agreements and/or even restraining orders may be issued – and they will likely stay in effect until the divorce is finalized. If any court order is issued in your divorce proceeding, make sure you comply with ALL of the terms of these orders.Violating court orders is serious, as it could result in you losing ground in your divorce and, in the most serious cases, you being on the receiving end of criminal charges and penalties.
• Consider whether it’s possible to resolve the divorce out of court – Not all divorce cases have to be resolved in court. In fact, mediation or arbitration can be effective processes to resolving divorces outside of court. While such alternative processes can cut down the time it takes to successfully resolve some divorces, they may also help both partners save a lot of money.
• Hire an experienced divorce attorney to represent you throughout the process – The single most important thing to remember when it comes to what you should do as you prepare for a divorce is to hire an experienced divorce attorney like those at Bahr and Kreidle. The fact is that divorce proceedings are not always straightforward or even easily resolved, and not having a lawyer on your side to fight for your interests could result in you losing your claim to various assets, being saddled with most (or even all) of the marital debt, losing custody of your children, etc.

Littleton, Colorado Divorce Lawyers at Bahr and Kreidle

Are you considering divorce? If so, contact the Littleton divorce attorneys at Bahr and Kreidle. Since 1983, we have been fighting on behalf of our clients, helping them dissolve their marriages as favorably and efficiently as possible.

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To get professional advice regarding your best options, let’s meet for an initial consultation. You can set up this meeting by calling us at (303) 794-7422 or by emailing us using the form on this page.